Injured Reserve by L. A. Witt

Author:L. A. Witt
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-64230-157-1
Publisher: GallagherWitt

Chapter 14

Antonio

I hadn’t thought it was possible to feel worse after last night, but I sure did now.

Stefan and I had argued and sniped plenty over the years, but we’d rarely fought. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d stormed out like this. He never did—he was the type to see an argument all the way through until it was over, staying the course long after his voice gave out, while I could only take so much before I needed to cool off and collect my thoughts.

Driving through the winding house-lined roads of our neighborhood, I was a ball of restless anxiety. Cool off? Collect my thoughts? That wasn’t happening. Not yet, anyway.

It didn’t help that I hadn’t slept much last night, having only dozed off around the time the sun was starting to rise. I was exhausted. I was frustrated with myself for letting last night go as far as it had, pretending yet again that everything was fine. Why did I keep doing that to myself? Sometimes I thought it was cowardice. Sometimes I thought I was genuinely protecting Stefan from the stress that could throw him off his game at a critical moment in the hockey season. I was pretty sure it was a combination of the two, and right now, he hardly needed to focus on hockey.

He did, however, need to focus on healing. I’d thrown this at him now? While he was concussed and struggling just to function in his own body?

On the other hand, I was relieved it was finally out there. I’d been holding it in since… well, at least since Tampa. Probably Calgary. Felt like forever. Either way, I’d been letting it fester, telling myself that I needed to talk to him about this and that I was a coward for always finding a reason to say this wasn’t the right time.

No more excuses. It was off my chest and on the table. Stefan knew how I felt.

So… now what?

I thumped my hand against the steering wheel. That was why I couldn’t pull myself together—I was terrified to go back. Even after being ready to leave for all this time, the prospect of actually pulling the trigger still scared me. It would be an end to a lot of stress and heartache, but it would also be an enormous change. The man I’d spent a third of my life with would be gone. The life we’d built would be over. It was just as well I hadn’t made a lot of friends with the Wildcats PASOs like I had on previous teams, because they’d be gone too; I’d seen how quickly those connections could fade away when a player and their partner broke up and moved on. It happened even faster after a breakup than a trade, and that said something.

I’d known all of that ever since I’d first started entertaining the idea of leaving. Now that it was truly looming, though, it had my stomach all in knots.

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